Orpheus
It was scary
on the way back:
It was wheezing, whistling,
Grunting, coughing.
Eurydice: Don’t look around, don’t dare,
………….The place is wild.
Orpheus: In this hissing I don’t recognize
………….The voice of my Eurydice.
Eurydice: Before I leave the dark, beware,
………….I am worse than a dragon.
………….I can only become my former self
………….When I see an azure sky.
………….I’ll become my former self when I breathe
………….First, painfully–it looks it’s near,
………….It seems I can hear
………….The sea and the breeze.
The voice was short, wild,
The beard rustled in the wind.
Orpheus: I’m so scared, what if I lead to the stars
………….Someone else, not you, Eurydice…
He looked back, tortured by doubt—
A snake, wide as a tree trunk,
Hurried behind with pleading eyes,
And scared, he jumped aside.
Dear thin arms with a dear scar
Stretched from a vile ugly belly—
To him—he timidly touched her fingernails.
—No, your heart did not recognize me,
No, you do not love me—
The snake hissed with a smile.
No, no! I don’t need that—she waned
Like smoke in the gloom of hell.
1982
* * *
Heart, heart, I’ve got to listen to you,
But can’t even have a glimpse at you,
A little punching bag,
Beaten up from the inside.
What is beating in you, pecking—
A kind of an astral chicken
That will painfully break the egg shell and say:
………….—I’m not death, I’m your double?
………….What should I do in my trouble?
I am scared of my own heart,
I washed it not with my blood
But with the water of days; hence my anger.
I scorn you, heart, not because
You are dark, you’re a stranger,
But because you are smart,
Cunning and desolate.
1989
A Crown
(A stylite standing on his head)
………….You are a tsar—live alone.
…………………….Alexander Pushkin
*
I am a king—fallen, deprived
Of water and fire,
But you can’t tear off from my head
My ancient hackly crown.
This fiery rim,
A seal, a golden obolus
Shines above—
So that the Spirit
Finds me in the abyss,
Breathing in the ring
Blowing the dust off the crown—
This tiny islet of air
Is all my kingdom.
This is my pillar—
But not with a bare foot—
Raising my brow
Into it I grow.
1998